Anxious

Right now I am attempting to wait patiently for Wednesday to come, attempting being the operative word. I have been fortunate enough that time has really flown over the past year for TTC. It is just the occasional two week wait for the Doctors appointment that drives me nuts! But never before has even the two week wait been as frustrating as this. What am I waiting for? Well if I haven't tired your ears off telling you I will give the short version of it. I am getting an U/S to check to see if I have produced any follicles (eggs) worthy of baby making. I guess that it is what is driving me nuts, it is possible that there will be nothing there and that this month there will not even be a two week wait (that is the wait after ovulation before taking a preg. test) I know that I am over thinking everything, as I always do.
Other than that today was an alright day. We were all so tired here that we were late getting to church... it was not my first choice but we got there. I was very pleased today to read the scriptures as a family (Steph, Nate, Basil and I, Sage was asleep in out bed.) We are on track to finish the entire Book of Mormon by the end of the year.
Well that's all for tonight!
Allie

What I shouldn't think about

Right now I am having such a hard time not thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong if I got pregnant. I mean with all the work we are putting into trying to get pregnant, I feel like the moment I find out I am pregnant I should hit the bed and never leave it. There are so many complications!!!!!! I know I shouldn't think about it but sometimes I can't help it.
At this point I am hoping to find some hope in being able to get pregnant. A week from today they are going to check my follicle size to see if I have any baby possibilities. I just do not know what I would do otherwise... sometimes I wonder what other people looking in think...
That's all,
Allie

About Time

I guess it is about time to make this post. I was holding out hoping that by some miracle that there may be some good news this month. So as you can guess, I got a big negative. Now we are onto a different medication (Femera) and the Dr. is going to check the follicles and egg production half way through the cycle. What does this mean, I really don't know. To me it means that I will now pray for a March baby instead of a Feburary one. I am learning to be patient and know/hope that my effort will pay off.
Right now I feel like the Dr. and many others have given up on me, what truth there is in that statement I do not know. I just know that most people don't understand what I am going through, or really what to say to me.
That's really all I can say at this point...
Allie