Day 12

I am 12 days into my cycle and I went in today for my 5th appointment since the start of this cycle. After waiting for what seemed like forever I was in the ultrasound room preparing for what I thought could only be good news. The Doctor came in to check my follicle growth. Now 5 days ago the same Dr. had checked my follicles and they were at 8mm and 6mm. So, as he measured them out I asked with excitement how big they were now. To my dismay they had not grown at all... was this even possible. This seemed to me like my worst nightmare. The Dr. obviously not seeing the panic in my eyes told me that we would double the dose in my medication. My thoughts could not help but taunt me for the rest of the day. Was it possible that they would never get any bigger? The Dr. didn't offer a worst case scenario and I honestly didn't know if I was ready to hear it.
I wrote this during my 1.5 hour wait in the waiting room.

#1

If only I knew,
When the day would come
That I would hold you near

If only I knew
The hours I'd wait
Just to have you here

If only I knew
I could last that long
Life could go on without fear

I hope you know
We'll never give up
Trying to bring you here

I hope you know
We are ready when you are
I promise, you need not fear

I hope you know
The love we have for you
In our hearts you're always near

Injections...

Tonight starts the first night of the rest of my life... I will be taking injections every night at the same time. Then next week I will have a doctors appointment on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. During each appointment they will steal my blood and take pictures of my ovaries... adjusting my medication as needed to produce something more than I am now... more to come!

The New Doctor

Alright, so I know that many of you are interested in how this whole thing went... Well the appointment was at 8am out in Syracuse, which meant I had to get Nate up and in the car by 6:45am. Let's just say I was very grateful to have him their with me and he didn't even complain. Now this is how it went...

The Dr. came in and went over all the diagnostic procedures that I have had in the past and then told me what procedures they want me to have:
1. Laparoscopy (which is where they put me under general anasesia and make a small cut into my abdomen to check the outside of my organs)
2. Hysterosalpingogram(HSG)(they inject x-ray dye into my uterus and watch it travel through my tubes to make sure they are not blocked)

Then the Dr. gave me that choices I have for treatment:
1. Take clomid, monitor it with ultrasounds and give me a trigger shot to trigger the egg to release.
2. Take injectable hormones to produce folicles (eggs,) monitor them ultrasounds, give me a trigger shot to trigger the egg to release and do IUI (intra uterine insemination).
3. IVF

Then as part of my visit the Dr. did a vaginal ultrasound and normal blood work. The nurse went over the information on the procedures and my new prenatals. They also had the person in charge of the insurance come in and go over the cost of all this fertility information.

Now, I am sure those who are still reading are wondering what option we chose. First of all we decided that we would not do the clomid again, as we have already done 5 cycles and want to be more aggressive. We also do not want to do IVF, and will explain why in a minute. We choose to do the injectables without the IUI.

The reason why is the fact that we would like to keep conception as natural as possible, we feel that is one thing we can have. Personally we do not have a problem with IVF or IUI but with the cost involved feel that if it came to that we would opt for adoption. Adoption the costs are involved when you actually adopt a child. Where as IVF there is cost regardless of whether a child is the result of the procedure.

I am sorry that this post is so long, and not nearly as funny as my normal posts. I am open to any questions you may have and am grateful for everyone's support.