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There is really no appropriate title to give this blog, as I hoped I would not be writing it. Nate and I went to the Doctor's office today so that I could have another u/s to check the follicle size. I knew the moment Dr. Cooley walked into the office that I was not going to like what he had to tell me. I know you are all hoping that this story take a twist for the better, and that I have some good news... but I do not think I will be able to deliver on that hope. We had no prominent follicles in which the Doctor could stimulate. As the Doctor spoke tears flooded my eyes, he could not help me and that brought pain to Nate, Dr. Cooley, and I. My body had not responded to the strongest medicine he could give me, I now need to see a reproductive endocrinologist. To many this may seem like a good fix, or a step forward, but not to me. To put it frankly the emotional roller coaster that I face is best experienced with a Doctor that I trust, and I was glad when that Doctor was Dr. Cooley. So, now I am facing the task of forming a new bond and trust with the man that will hopefully hold the answers to my problems and to be honest I am scared. I see Dr. Kiltz on 9/9/09 at 8am in the morning.
Over the next month, I do not think life will get any easier. I am going to try and relax, maybe even lose a few pounds if possible. I make no promises though, only that I will continue to do my best and keep my chin up as much as possible. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and has a plan for me, I just wish knowing that made it easier.