Countdown to gender!

We are so excited that the baby is still healthy, now the next milestone is finding out the gender :D Thank you all for your prayers, check my facebook for ultrasound pictures!

Countdown Clock by Zoodu.com

Dedication

"You'll always be my first!"



There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of my angel. As I progress through this pregnancy I only fall more in love with the idea of being a mother, but the truth is I already am. I am a mother to my angel and I am a mother to the baby growing within me. I am grateful to know how blessed I am, Heavenly Father has given me constant reminders.

Counting our Blessings

Yesterday, after a visit to the ER, we found out that Baby B had stopped growing. I just sat there as the ER tech kept trying to find Baby B's heartbeat, she tried for over 30 minutes. I kept asking her if she could see the heartbeat hoping that the little blueberry was just being shy. She lied, for my benefit, and said that she could see it. As she began to measure the baby I knew, Baby A took up more space and was beginning to take a human shape. Baby B stopped growing at 7 weeks when it was only the size of a blueberry, it is now our angel baby. Baby A is right on track for growth and has a heartbeat of 185.

My question has always been how does someone deal with loss of the life inside them? Even more importantly how do you mourn the loss of one and celebrate the health of them other? Our way has been to find the good in the entire situation and I would like to share that.

1. Heavenly Father never gives us anything we can not handle, he has prepared us for this through our faith and the friends/family that we have.

2. Baby B has returned to Heaven, for a reason we are not aware of this baby was not ready to come to this earth but will continue to watch over us from Heaven.

3. Something was wrong with Baby B, either it's heart of nervous system was not strong enough to sustain life and Heavenly Father knew that.

4. Baby B will always be our baby.

5. Baby A is healthy and strong providing us with overwhelming hope of what the future holds.

6. Our marriage is only being strengthened through this experience and we are blessed to have each other.

7. The blessings of the Priesthood surround me providing me comfort I never thought was possible.

8. Our blessings are limitless

In short we are choosing to celebrate both our babies. They will both forever be apart of our lives for their own special reasons. Please continue to pray for Baby A and remember there is always more to thankful for in our lives, sometimes it is just harder to find.

With all my love for your continued support,
Allie

Baby A and Baby B

These are my babies, cute as they can possibly be @ only 5 weeks and 6 days. The nurse was able to see both babies, although the pictures do not show both we did see them. We honestly feel so incredibly blessed! In addition the love and support we have received from family and friends has been amazing, more than I ever anticipated. We will most likely be seeing a great deal of our babies over the next few weeks and I will continue to update with pictures. It is only 34 weeks until I am able to hold my babies, my gift from Heavenly Father! I am just filled with gratitude that he has given me such a wonderful blessing!

Allie

For Good

As this wonderful, yet scary time in my life begins I can not help thinking of all the people that I have been blessed to know. People that may have only come into my life for a "season" but have changed my life, and continue to change my life. Thank you to everyone who continues to help me and remind me just how blessed I am.
This song had always made me think of these people in my life...

FOR GOOD- WICKED
(Glinda) I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba) It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda) Because I knew you

(Both) I have been changed for good

(Elphaba) And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for

(Glinda) But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

(Both) And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda) Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba) Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both) Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda) And because I knew you...

(Elphaba) Because I knew you...

(Both) Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

...The News

I once had this strong opinion that I should wait to tell everyone I was pregnant till I was at least 12 weeks... Well I have officially thrown that out the window! Call it what you will but we all know I have trouble keeping secrets and the truth is how could I with news like this. I AM PREGNANT!!! Nate and I know that this is truly a blessing from our Heavenly Father and an answer to so many prayers offered through out the country. I have been learning about more people everyday that I have kept our family in their prayers, and can I just say I feel blessed!

Right now I am 4 weeks pregnant and 16 days past ovulation with an HCG of 638! The due date is July 3, 2010 according to my math. We will have another HCG Wed. and then three ultrasounds week 6, 7, and 8 before I will go back to my OBGYN. We are grateful for the life we have be entrusted with and pray for a safe and uneventful pregnancy.

Thank you to everyone that kept us in your prayers, words will never truly express my gratitude.

Allie

Day 12

I am 12 days into my cycle and I went in today for my 5th appointment since the start of this cycle. After waiting for what seemed like forever I was in the ultrasound room preparing for what I thought could only be good news. The Doctor came in to check my follicle growth. Now 5 days ago the same Dr. had checked my follicles and they were at 8mm and 6mm. So, as he measured them out I asked with excitement how big they were now. To my dismay they had not grown at all... was this even possible. This seemed to me like my worst nightmare. The Dr. obviously not seeing the panic in my eyes told me that we would double the dose in my medication. My thoughts could not help but taunt me for the rest of the day. Was it possible that they would never get any bigger? The Dr. didn't offer a worst case scenario and I honestly didn't know if I was ready to hear it.
I wrote this during my 1.5 hour wait in the waiting room.

#1

If only I knew,
When the day would come
That I would hold you near

If only I knew
The hours I'd wait
Just to have you here

If only I knew
I could last that long
Life could go on without fear

I hope you know
We'll never give up
Trying to bring you here

I hope you know
We are ready when you are
I promise, you need not fear

I hope you know
The love we have for you
In our hearts you're always near