A post a long time in the making

I know many people have wanted an update to my blog and quite frankly the thoughts that have been running through my head felt very personal and I didn't share them because I feared others would pass judgement.

As everyone should know Nate and I were blessed to welcome Emeralynn into the world this past June. She is truly a dream come true and more than I could have ever imagined we love her more and more every moment. This is the part where maybe few will understand and maybe this isn't the place to post this but that is irrelevant at this point because I am posting this.

At 9 weeks gestation Nate and I found out that twin b had returned to heaven and "his" heart was no longer beating. I had several ultrasounds over the next 30 weeks and every time I would watch as the measured twin b "he" always measured the same and despite Dr prediction never vanished. So I don't know if you can even fathom how I felt on June 28th when I gave birth.

I had a fairly easy labor and delivery when you stack it up against the previous 35 weeks of pregnancy that I spent completely sick, frequently visiting the hospital. However when I gave birth not only was there a rush of joy but there was also a hint of sorrow. I had not only gave birth to Emeralynn but my body had finally released her twin and "he" was no longer with me. I carried both babies for 39 weeks and love them both so much and although I wish I had both in my arms right now I find comfort in the fact that Heavenly Father knows me better than I know myself. For some reason I needed to experience this, and there is peace in that fact.

I think about the baby frequently and questions fill my mind. I guess I feel like everyone expects it to not be a big deal because I have a wonderfully healthy baby and do not get me wrong I am grateful for that... but is it wrong that this mother still mourns for the loss of a baby?

These are my thoughts... more to come

The time has come...

About 12 hours from now I will be checking into the hospital for my scheduled induction. Emeralynn will make her grand appearance sometime in the near future and we are ready. After about 3 years of trying to conceive and 35 weeks (can't count the weeks I didn't know that I was pregnant) of severe morning sickness, migraines, and other mild unpleasantness I already know that all of it was worth it just to get to the point. I hope I never forget how blessed I am to have this experience, and to become a Mother. This time last year (June 28, 2009) I wrote "What am I waiting for? Well if I haven't tired your ears off telling you I will give the short version of it. I am getting an U/S to check to see if I have produced any follicles (eggs) worthy of baby making." I remember just thinking to myself if I could just know when or if I would get pregnant I would be happy. The truth of the matter is though I found happiness by having faith in Heavenly Father's timing.
I am applying that same thought process today as I prepare for the hospital. So many things are out of my hands and out of my control and I have learned that it is honestly better that way. I plan to take labor/delivery/motherhood one step at a time knowing that I am blessed to not have to walk through this alone. I have not only Heavenly Father on my side but also Nate, friends, and family. I do not know what to expect, except for the fact that I know I can handle whatever life has to offer me.

Thank you for all your constant prayers, support, and kind thoughts!

Allie

Labor Prediction!

Your labor prediction quiz results are below.....

Get your bags packed early just in case you need them. Make sure your partner has a phone available when he's away because this baby just might come early. We predict your baby will come 2-3 weeks early. Your baby will most likely be born in the morning. Justmommies predicts that your baby will weigh approximately 7.3 pounds and that your labor will be about 12 hours long.

This is for entertainment purposes only.

http://www.justmommies.com/quizzes/labor-results.php

Life is changing

We are about six weeks from Emeralynn's due date and we could not be more excited! This pregnancy has been nothing short of a roller coaster but I would do it again because I am so in love with this little girl. I have been very fortunate to have the support of my husband, family, and friends who have seen me through not only this pregnancy but also the battle with infertility that came before it. I know that there are many who have found it difficult to understand why I complain at times when I wanted this so badly, I understand their point of view but hope they realize I am grateful for this blessing. My occasional complaining does not diminish my gratitude.

I am hoping the next 6 weeks will pass quickly and that my energy will be sufficient to get everything I need done! I am looking forward to getting together with friends and family for my babyshower in June and feel blessed that so many wish to share this experience with us. My Mom will be flying in on Emeralynn's due date so we will see who makes it here first Emeralynn or "Grandma." Also, my Dad will be coming out towards the end of my Mom's visit and we feel blessed that they will both be here. What else is going on???

We are getting more details as the days progress about Nate's deployment and it seems that he will be deploying after Emeralynn is born, so he will get to meet his little girl before he goes!! He will also be able to bless Emeralynn before he leaves and my parents will be here for that as well.

In other news Basil is adjusting well to being the only dog, although he did tear a hole in the sofa today so we still have some puppy bumps left!

Now for some pictures to add to this "chopped" up story!

This is from 2 weeks ago... my belly is bigger now, but I have not been in the mood for more pictures!
Here is a picture of the nursery I took the picture in panoramic hence the "arch"
Basil loves to do two things go for walks and take rides in the truck or car!!! He is spoiled :)

24 Weeks

I have some theories, this past week I have been experiencing insomnia. Yes, I had this a few weeks ago and I thought that the "phase" had passed but at last it has not. This brings me to my first theory:

• My insomnia is directly connected to Emeralynn's growth spurt!

My reasoning is this, all yesterday I had this unusual feeling in my belly, kind of like a stretching feeling, this morning I woke up and BAM there are at least 3-5 more inches on my belly! As if that was not proof enough today I have been eating like crazy!!! I mean I ate chicken noodle soup, spaghettios, at least 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and random snacks here and there all before 4pm! Now that may not sounds like a lot but considering my eating habits this entire pregnancy that is 3x as much!

Conclusion: My days of sleep are over and my insomnia, although irritating, is a good thing!

More theories to come in the future!

Lil' Kicker's name will be...

Nate and I are just too excited to keep it in our little girls name will be...

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Emeralynn Rae Olmstead
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This is a name that both Nate and I have loved for the past 3 years. Where did it come from? Well, I made it up. Most everyone knows that I love the color green and therefore love Emerald as well. Somehow the name grew from there I do not know how but it did and I couldn't be happier with her name. When we found out that we were expecting a girl I could not think of any other names that would fit her. We decided that this must be her name, and to be honest I believe it fits her unique personality.

What a pain in my...

On Friday February 5th I started having severe pains on my right side. I waited for a couple hours and the pain subsided and I figured it was no big deal. Wrong, the pain quickly showed up sharply across my belly button and spanning from one side to the other. Once again I wanted to assume that the pain was normal growing pains but the severity triggered a call to my Doctor. After explaining the days run of events, the nurse placed me on hold. I am assuming to ask my Doctor, when she returned she told me it was very important that I drive to the hospital to be checked out in the ER. I was a little concerned but quickly put on a tough face and told Nate that I was going to drive myself to the ER. In addition, because Nate was going to leave for work I called Jenn to let her know where I was going.
When I arrived at the ER I could tell that it was going to be a long night. After about 25 minutes I was seen by the nurse triage and sent back to the waiting room. Time passed slowly and about an hour later I was able to be placed in one of the ER rooms. The nurse came in to find lil' kickers heartbeat and of course, being our child, lil' kicker was hiding. When she finally did find what she defined as the heartbeat it was very quite and I didn't hear it long enough to count the heart rate. Part of the reason it is so hard to find the baby's heartbeat is the fact that the placenta is right on the front wall.
By the time the ER Doctor finally came in I had been there for almost 3 hours. He asked me to define the pain and its current severity. Then said since my pain was not that bad I could just go home, or if I really wanted he could run the usual tests. I told him that I didn't want to drive 30 minutes home to have the pain return and have to drive back. I wanted to know if there was a reason for this pain! He reluctantly agreed, I had blood drawn, and I waited for my scan. They wheeled me though hospital to the u/s room. The tech was very nice and pointed out all the different parts of the baby as she measured them. The baby measured a week ahead, putting my due date based on the measurements at June 27th. The baby weighed 10 ounces! She soon discovered the source of my pain. Somehow my right ovary has become swollen, not to point fingers but someone fondly known as lil' kicker has feet in that very same location!
With 90% certainty we can now say that lil' kicker is...
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Comments by ZingerBug.com

Nate believes that the baby was getting mad that he was calling it a HE!! So she took revenge on me by kicking my ovary until it was extremely swollen. Then she was a lot calmer during the ultrasound and we even were able to peak between the legs. It was kinda like a cruel joke, but the is just like her mother... it is scary how much me I already see in this little girl. There is always a chance that something was hidden but we are fairly confident that lil' kicker is a girl. I could not be happier!! What a blessing :)